Go blow it out your ass, 'cause it's not coming out your vagina!

     Yesterday, I drove by a woman outside the hospital near my house as she was standing on the sidewalk holding a sign that said "Help End Abortion." I wasn't sure which abortion she was talking about, so I just assumed it reached its successful conclusion and carried on. She looked something like this:

      Besides the fact that most of the assholes who have the sac to protest this procedure are usually good examples in favour of abortion, this has got to be one of the most pointless debates in human history. I am totally in favour of dissent at any and all times, but the  anti-abortion league has overstepped themselves. I'm not hating on freedom of speech; march around with your signs all you like, just please know that you're wrong. But who are you trying to reach with this? Politicians? Police? McDonald's executives? It doesn't matter, because once you've enacted every Draconian legislation you can possibly conjure up, a woman can still throw herself down a flight of steps and hope for the best.

     I think one of the funniest things about the abortion issue (and make no mistake, the fact that the whole to-do is allowed to be an issue is hilarious) is that the opposition is almost always from the right wing. The conservative, read-yer-bible, get-yer-guv'ment-hands-outta-muh-pockets crowd, which loves to preach minimal legislation (I'm not saying that's what happens, that's just what they say) actually feels that they can tell people what to do with their bodies.

1. In the words of Bill Hicks, if you're such a good Christian, do the Christian thing - forgive them.
2. This is so far from hands-off government that it's ridiculous. This is actually asking lawmakers to reach inside women (or prevent someone else from doing so). Instead of de-centralized government, you have intrauterine government. This is the ultimate in control of women, and it's downright sick to presume that kind of authority.

     If it's a religious thing, it's dated. If it's a humanist thing, it's distorted. If it's your innate instinct, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities and read up on (over)population crises, because we really could use a few more abortions to get us down to par.

     When debating anti-abortionists, my girlfriend is quick to pull out the rape or incest (or incestuous rape) cards on this subject, which are immediate trumps - I haven't heard a good counterpoint to them yet. However my point is even simpler, and it's something of a motto for me - "Who the fuck are you?" 

• Who the fuck are you to tell a woman what to do with her body? Unless you're the father, shut the fuck up. Even then, your opinion doesn't matter that much.
• Who the fuck are you to presume to know someone's life and circumstances enough to tell them what to do? Unless you're going to pay their bills, shut the fuck up.
• Who the fuck are you to tell someone about right and wrong? Ever made a mistake? Shut the fuck up.

     So you're a tax payer. Well, abortions are a surgery, one of many that our imperfect-but-preferable-to the-U.S health care system takes care of for us. Besides, are you advocating for the removal of  public health care in general? No, you just don't want to pay for someone's abortion because you see it as paying for their mistake. But that's a far better cause than say, tax exemptions for religions (because I don't think that's quiiite what Jesus was getting at when he flipped the moneylenders' tables). After all, I don't want my tax dollars going towards your delusion.

This is a picture I found by Google searching "average anti-abortionist."     

      My stance on abortion? It's personal. It's about as personal as decisions get. I feel the technology and training should be available so that it is done safely, so that when someone makes an extremely difficult decision for the betterment of their own life, they don't have to visit a back-alley clinic and risk disease, infection, or mutilation. Ditto for related counselling services (I think the back-alley version of counselling is just called crack).

     I would happily see my tax dollars go to that (the first part, not crack).